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| Art by Jack A. Warren |
So Bill and Lightning were now living in the same hole and quickly started to bond as proper brothers.
They had a blast havin fun with each other, fun of all sorts, with their favorite activities being all sorts of different games and the like.
A few that quickly come to mind include, but aren't necessarily limited to.
A hem.
Hide and go seek, which the two would almost consistently stalemate each other in, key word, Almost, cause you see sometimes Bill would find Lightning, and this always meant trouble for Lightning.
Ya see, when Bill found him he didn't call him out, no no no, that just ain't how Bill did things, instead Bill would pounce, grab, poke or otherwise frighten his notoriously skittish brother for his own amusement.
This would always, without fail, quickly end with Bill having a hoof print on his face, or stomach, or some other place that's the most sensitive to such wallops and would leave Bill speakin like a chipmunk for a month.
Another is catch, which was worry some, mainly cause of what Bill thought was good and light for tossing and catching were often, well, just not.
Instead they were far to large and heavy for such games, this misunderstanding Bill had of his own strength leading to Lightning having to doge a boulder or whole red wood more then once, cause Bill thought of em as simple rocks or twigs.
But on some occasions Bill did manage to find simple small rocks or twigs that Lightning could actually catch, instead of being crushed by, but there was still a minor problem, Bill was still stupid strong and would often send these lighter items flying at impossible speeds and distances, but Lightning would catch them almost without fail.
Sept for one occasion when Lightning didn't, ya see Bill through a pebble, just a simple little pebble, but Bill threw it just a bit too fast.
The thing zoomed past Lightning before he could even think to react, and in just a blink, Bill was hit in the head by something and knocked out cold.
Of course, being confused and concerned Lightning went to check on his brother, he found Bill, laying there, with a perfect bump on his head, and the pebble, the very one that zoomed past Lightning just a moment before, sitting next to that bump on Bill's little head.
They even played a bit of tag, which Lightning would always win, despite Bill's efforts to run faster and faster every time, the spindly boy was never quite able to match his four hooved brother's impossible speeds and incredible agility, especially for a horse.
Ya know, all the average sort of play for brothers to get up to, this doesn't even get into the tests of strength, those could really get crazy and quaking, tectonically shifting almost.
Point being, the two really did all one would expect brothers to do, including the regular amount of squabbling, which oftentimes was, well, quite destructive, which weren't no good for nobody.
This leads us to this story proper as it begins with one such squabble.
The two were resting under a tree, enjoying the day, Bill lay in one of the branches while Lightning sat on the ground at the base of the mighty things trunk, and the two began to talking.
Bill: hey Lightnin.
Lightning: yes Bill.
Bill: ya ever wonder wonder wut it's like ta stand on the sun.
Lightning: can't say that I have, honestly kinda foolish thought to be honest.
Pecos: why is'it foolish.
Lightning: cause the sun is like a ball of angry fire, it'd burn your hooves off.
Pecos: not ifn yur sturdy enough.
Lightning: and you think ur sturdy enough.
Pecos: I reckon I am, I'm all around great, the greatest in the world.
With this statement, as Bill puffs his chest out in pride and confidence, Lightning laughs uncontrollably at his Brothers mixture of bravado and naivety.
Lightning: you, *ha*, the dude who I've seen create mile long cuts in the ground cause ya couldn't stop properly, *hehe*, and then fell flat on your face for the same reason, *gafaw*, think your the greatest in the world, or, *hehe* What about the time you were trying to tag me and ended up running into a-.
Bill, having had enough of this, pounced on his brother, and so it began.
The two started to wrestle, Bill ending up on Lightning's back and bear hugging the horse as hard as he could, cracking Lighting's back in the process, this leading to the horse to buck and run about trying to get Bill off, the horse even jumping back first into trees, slamming right through them Bill first.
And yet Bill clung on, iron was his grip as he laughed all the way, this all while Lightning was swearing up such a storm, infact he was saying so many profanities and blasphemes that it threatened to cause a real storm to form out the mixture of Lightning's unbridled aggravation and Bill's unending rowdiness.
And the commotion of their tree snapping, cuss flinging, goofy giggling rough housing quickly caught the attention of Badger and Coyote.
And upon seeing what the hell was going on, Coyote began to laugh, his cackling resulting in him getting a good pointy side eye from Badger.
Coyote: hey, it's funny, you can't be mad at me for laughing at something that is as funny as this, and you know for a fact that that boy has an infectious laugh, and don't get me started on the other's talent in stringing together swears and cusses with such artistry, such Elegance.
Coyote begins move like a caricature of an art critic, Goofily striking overly dramatic poses while strutting around Badger, He even mimes drinking from a glass of wine and smoking for my cigarette.
Coyote: It's beautiful, so beautiful it is, the boy must have learned such beautifully foul poetry from overhearing his wonderful mother and the gorgeously grotesque poems she sometimes mumbles under her breath, never hath such a sight and sounds brought such a tear to my eye.
Coyote continues his buffoonery by wiping a fake tear from his eye, him now being on the opposite side of Badger as he says the last bit, eliciting a good eye roll and smirk from her, and Coyote seeing the smirk capitalizes.
Coyote: and hey I mean, think back when we first met, we didn't exactly, start off as perfectly and unequivocally, immaculately in sync, like we are now, so maybe we should push the boys into learning how to work together, like we learned how to, maybe give em a task of some sort, maybe a super important trial perhaps, something were they gotta be in sync to get it done.
Badger: you make a good point, a rarity for you, he who thought it was a good idea to hurl poop for fun, bravo.
Badger gives a half hearted clap towards Coyote which causes him to guffaw at his long time friend's good natured jab at the trickster.
Coyote: hey, even a fool such as myself has some wisdom, and that wisdom is giving me the perfect idea for the task to give the two.
Badger raises an eyebrow as Coyote has his scheming face on, rubbing his hands together, turned half away from Badger, his eyes brimming with a chaotic fire, h runs through the whole gambit to physical expression that Coyote goes through when he's coming up with something he thinks is truly clever.
This all only lasting a second because he quickly turns to Badger and then says, with great enthusiasm, and a beaming smile of mischief on his face.
Coyote: The Cloud Saddle.
Badger has an expression first of genuine shock and then of faux shock as she brings a hand to her mouth with a gasp.
Badge: my goodness, so the legends are true, there really is a brain up there.
She says this as she knocks Coyote's head playfully, causing him to laugh again.
Coyote: so, you agree, Cloud Saddle.
Badger: yes, Cloud Saddle.
Badger says before Coyote has a small celebration, fist, or I guess paw pumping the air and proclaiming his greatness quietly to himself.
Badger responds to this display by smiling and shaking her head before walking over to the brothers, Lightning now having Bill, flailing his arms pinned under Lightning as he lays on his back.
Quickly the two boys are split up and wrangled apart by there parents, and before the two could continue their wrestle, they are stopped by a jubilant and gleeful Coyote using his power, he lifts a surprised Lightning and splits the two adopted sons apart.
Soon after Badger gets their attention, clapping her hands together she says.
Badger: boys, I need ya to stop walloping each other and need some help with something, ya see, I'm working on a project, and for it I require-
Bill: man-a-goat milk.
At that moment Coyote bursts out laughing, Lightning looks mildly queezy after realizing why Coyote would be laughing, Bill is super confused and Badger, Badger is irritated at the interruption.
One frying pan hitting a Coyote's head later Badger continues.
Badger: what I was going to say is I need a special, speedy, cloud, I need you boys to fetch me one for the project I'm working on, you think you boys can help me with that.
Lightning: you can count on me Mamog.
Bill: I can do it no time.
And with that, the two go running off, each setting out to grab the cloud on their own, dust trailing them as they move across the landscape.
Coyote: well, I imagine those two are about to go through quite the set of shenanigans, hehe.
Badger: most likely.
Bill and Lightning run all over, looking at the sky's for the best, fastest cloud.
And, eventually, after a great deal of time and cramped necks looking up, the two find the same cloud that was the most beautiful, fluffy, quick cloud they had seen, they were mesmerized by it.
In fact, they were so distracted looking up at the cloud they had been hunting for that they ended up running into each other, which of course.
Lightning: watch where you're going fire hair.
Pecos: I'll watch where I'm going as soon as ya get yer self a back bone, ya prancin pansy fancy pants.
Bill says this while skipping around his brother in a mockingly exaggerated "hoity toity" kinda way, while Lightning sits with an expression of sheer frustration.
Lightning: as much as I would love to buck you across the country right now, I'd rather exert that energy getting the cloud down from up there for Mamog.
Pecos: not if I get it first.
Quickly after getting in his brother's face to say this, Bill squats down and pounces straight up, rocketing in the air right at the cloud.
Bill quickly approaches impossible speeds and just as he gets to the cloud and trys to grab it, he closes his eyes in anticipation, a smirk forming comfortably on his face.
However.
...
Nothing.
The rocketing redhead grabs nothing as the cloud quickly scoots outa the way, leaving Bill miffed as he, like a lead ball plummets to the ground, crashing into it making a large crater, close to 16 feet deep.
Smuggly, Lightning saunters over to the crater and looks down at his brother.
Lightning: oh my, look, here lies Icarus, he lived a short life, ended by his own hubris, and idiocy.
Pecos Popping his head out from the crater, now plainly frustrated.
Pecos: like to see ya do any better, and I ain't got nowa wax wings, iffin I did this would be a lot easier.
Lightning: oh please, I can catch this cloud easy, especially since I'm not as slow as you two legs, now watch and learn.
And before Bill can object to being called slow, Lightning like his name sake bolts off, running as fast as he can at the quickly blowing away cloud.
The cloud seeing this, quickly starts evasive maneuvers and speeding up itself, but Lightning is honed in and hot on it's trail, but the honing proves to be a problem.
As Lightning, his eyes glued to the sky, ends up fifteen feet deep into a granite cliff side, leaving a him shaped hole in his wake, which Bill sees and, of course, laughs as he walks over.
Pecos: haha, I coulda sworn I remember hearing some kinda candy jackass tell me to "watch where I'm going" one time, maybe you shoulda heeded them ther words o wisdom.
Only grumbles can be heard emanating from the horse shaped hole as Lightning slowly and steadily inches his way out of it, and while he does, Pecos schemes.
Pecos: alright, now for a different approach.
Pecos, looks around for a moment until remembering something, and bolts back home for some things, in a matter of moments having everything he needs for his scheme.
Bill sets everything up just before Lightning squeezes out of the hole he made.
Pecos: alright I think I'm ready to finally catch this cloud, and seeing that ur outa that hole, you can take a gander at my accomplishment of genius.
Lightning: what the hell are you talking abo-
Lightning is unable to finish his sentence as he's taken off guard by what he turns to face.
It's Bill, with his bow around his waist, and on his arms and back are the gunky wings and a bit of the exoskeletons of a set of three Monsquitos, 1 on each of his upper arms, and one on his back, all strapped to him with a mixture of sapp and insect blood.
Pecos: now watch this missy trotalong, as I, the powerful Pecos Bill, master o the sky and launch myself up at them there cloud with this here bow, and fly after the sucker using these here wings, and with this here.
Bill shows his palms to the horse revealing them to be covered in sapp.
Pecos: there ain't no way it'll escape my grabers, no, not this time, no indeedy.
Quickly Bill manages to cock himself into his own bow, and using it, launches himself high into the air, where he then flicks The Monsquito wings on both of his arms which get them to start fluttering.
This before unleashing a mighty flap with both of his arms which miraculously activates the pair situated on his back.
And so Bill is off, flying through the skies at breakneck speeds straight to the cloud, but speed continues to be Bill's issue in the skies as he continues to fly faster and faster, yet the cloud remains just out of reach.
Eventually the cloud gets a bit cheeky and flies over a dusty hilltop, sending a huge amount of dust at Bill, blinding him for just a moment.
And when Bill opens his eyes again, he's heading straight for a small patch of cactuses at maximum speed, and they ain't looking to be accommodating for him.
One crash later, Pecos shambles back to the now cackling horse before collapsing, face first, onto the ground.
The only thing him having caught being a thousand and one cactus spines, and two cactus leaves, stuck firmly to his sap covered hands.
Seeing his brother in a heap of defeat and pin pierced pain, although it did cause a great amount of schadenfreude in the young horse, seeing him covered in bits and pieces of the cactus, almost looking like one himself in a matter of fact, gave Lightning, an idea.
Well, maybe it wasn't Bill's state purely that led to Lightning's idea, more so how His brother ended up in this state, you see if Bill or Lightning couldn't catch the cloud through a straightforward way, Maybe Lightning could be a bit more sneaky about it, like what the cloud did in turning Bill into a pin cushion.
So, Lightning got to work, and did his best to cover himself with mud, sticks, leaves, sap and bark and soon enough, he looked just like a small hill, or maybe more like a mound with some bush on it.
And so in this disguise he put together, he began his approach to the cloud, which now rested by a hilltop.
Inch by everloving inch, foot by everloving foot, and soon even hoove by everloving Hoove, Lightning continued his silent approach, completely undetected by the cloud, until Lightning was almost right on top of it.
And then in less then a blink of an eye, Lightning pounced at the cloud, flinging himself in a flash right on top of it, finally Lightning had...
Wait, no he hadn't.
Lightning flew straight through the cloud, unable to grab hold of it, cause he didn't have any hands to grab with, only hooves.
So once again, down to earth came a Lightning crashing, and with a mighty WHAMM, he slammed into the ground, cratering coincidentally right next to Bill, who begins to wake up as the now lumped head of lightning looks out of the hole he just formed, dazed and confused.
Bill: ha, looks like we both are havin a ruff time.
Lightning: yeah... hold on, what did you say, couldn't hear you over the bell in my brain.
Lightning shakes his head before putting a hoof on it, clearly pained.
Bill: we aren't havin any kinda luck cathin this cheeky cloud.
Lightning: and as we get closer and closer to catching the damn thing we keep failing harder and harder, and getting hurt worse and worse.
Bill: I keep gettin close, an last time I tried I nearly got it, but I was to slow.
Lightning: and I was able to catch up to it, but not grabe the thing, I flew straight through it.
The two sit in silence for a moment, defeated, until, the realization hits em both and they look at each other.
Bill: Lightning, o brother o mine, I've come to a conclusion, and judgen by that look, you've come to the same one.
Lightning: we compare notes and make a plan together.
Bill: I was thinking more that you run and I jump and grab but your idea works to.
And so the two brainstormed a perfect plan that would hopefully, finally, after painful failure after painful failure, give them a success.
Some time later, the cloud that they'd been trying to catch is chugging along through the sky, happy as a clam, not knowing what's about to happen, and seemingly, not noticing the strangely large bush that's been following him.
But quickly, as the bush got right under the cloud, the cloud bolted, noticing the oddity and moving swiftly, so the bush quickly made chase revealing it was Lighting.
The cloud seeing who was under the greenery thought that Lightning the horse hadn't learned anything from there previous encounter, and so prepared to do a similar trick to the ones he had pulled before on Lightning and his Brother Bill.
The cloud even got a bit cocky with it, so once he got a little bit past a clif and over a ravine he simply stopped and waited, surely, since that dumb horse hadn't learned he'd just end up blindly running off the cliff.
So Lightning came a running, but the cloud noticed something rustling on his back, and before the cloud could react, what was seemingly a shrub of some sort, was launched by the horse straight at him, only for that strange shrub to reveal himself to be a disguised Pecos.
The cloud tried to move out of the way, but no luck, the cloud's underestimation of his adversaries cleverness had led to the cloud's current predicament, as Pecos managed to grab hold of him.
And now that Pecos had the cloud in his hot little hands, the easy part could start, with Bill needing to wrangle the sky bound thing to the ground, where he and Lightning could then begin the walk home.
And so a fierce rodeo began in the sky as the cloud zipped, zopped, zagged and bucked, sounding thunder, hurling lightning, and screaming mighty winds as Bill held, withstanding or even outright ignoring most of what was thrown at him, while continuing to drag the ethereal puffball to the ground.
As it struggled, The cloud even tried to take on various different forms in an effort to deal with Bill, shifting into almost anything you could think of from a Giant Man who tried to grab and fling Bill off with its strong hands, but Bill slipped through its clumsy fingers and went to another part of its monstrously large form still dragging it down.
Then the cloud turned into a Fearsome Dragon and tried to chomp down on Bill with its gnashing ice formed teeth and long crooked neck, but Bill quickly moved out of the way of the creature's fierce jaws, resulting in the cloud dragon only biting itself almost in half.
Finally the cloud turned into a Thundering Frosted Dark Sky Train, which tried to trap Bill inside a practically unbreakable block of ice in the form of a safe and then speed Bill to the ground where he'd shatter, the cloud even made cloudy bandits to fight and pin Bill if he escaped, but Bill was just too ornery to be captured.
Breaking out of that blue ice he was trapped in using the heat from his own remaining irritation at his previous failures, and ran through the entire train twice over, beating up everything he came across, including the train itself.
And so seeing the writing on the wall, the cloud accepted it's defeat, reforming back into it's normal, fluffy self, and with grace, floated down to the ground with Bill still holding on, eyes closed, and prepared to wrestle and fight more, one hand held up, cloud tightly gripped and free hand raised prepared for anything.
Now on the ground Lightning was waiting, having seen the mighty display, he was impressed by his brother's strength, and so as the cloud and Bill touched down in front of the horse, he sat on his hounches and began to clap with his hooves.
Lightning: bravo brother, I would have never been able to wrestle the cloud down like you just did, that was simply magnificent.
Bill realizing he had won, quickly opened his eyes and relaxed a tad, looking at his brother as his feet hit the ground.
Bill: weren't no thing, yur the real one deservin of praise, with the disguise and yur speed, it would have taken me ages of hair brained skeems before I'd thought of somthin like a disguise, and I could never have caught up to this here critter on my own, so you really deserve the praise brotata.
The two give a smile to each other which leads to a hug, although Bill can only really side hug since he is holding a cloud with his left hand, so a normal hug ain't possible, in fact some say Pecos was the first to ever side hug, but that's a conversation for later.
Where was I, oh yes, Pecos makes up for the necessary side/half hug though by headbutting his brother, playful of course.
After this bit of heartwarming affection the two begin their trek home.
However the cloud has one or two, maybe even three more tricks to escape, and they all boil down to slowing the brothers down.
Yes, slow them down long enough for Bill to lose strength in his arm and let go.
First it tries to make Bill a bit floaty, so it's hard for him to walk, almost like walking through water, turning Bill's steady walk into a humorous fatman's trundle.
But Bill is able to without a word, or even a moment's thought, turn this from something holding him back, into something to help propel him forward, somewhat literally, as Bill uses this extra bit of weightlessness to make a massive strides and jumps across the landscape.
After the first plan failing, the cloud then asks the wind to blow in his favor and against Bill and Lightning, which slows them down, but Lightning notices this and without being asked ends up hurding the winds by running as fast as he can, at first rounding the wind into a impromptu twister, which he then broke into a mighty gust forward.
Sending both Bill and Lightning even further along in their journey.
Finally, having exhausted his previous two avenues and being both frightened and frustrated, the cloud calls its siblings from high to unleash a massive rain storm to make the ground mudy and hard for Bill to get through, and in the process force Bill to let go while trying to escape mud from enveloping him.
And so listening to there siblings pleas, the clouds above unleashed a mighty rainstorm, which turned the ground to mud, and just as the cloud expected caused Bill to get stuck, but Lightning seeing this, picks Bill up by the scruff of his neck with his teeth, then flipping the boy up onto his back and allows Bill to ride him.
The clouds above see this, and ever determined, the clouds above begin pulling out all the stops for the storm.
The rain turns colder and fiercer until it becomes sleet that cuts, stabs and bludgeons, and as they start hitting Lightning, Bill notices and with his free hand and fast reflexes, he quickly, plucks every piece of frosted Fury from the sky before it even has a chance to hit Lightning, as the horse makes his way through the storm.
Finally, the clouds have had enough and replace the sleet and frost with something more fierce, something Bill can't just pluck from the sky or Lightning can just truck through.
And so with what energy the clouds above have left they build it all up causing the rain and the wind and the sleet to all stop for just a moment, as electricity begins to permeate in the air.
Lightning: looks like we're out of the woods now Pecos, we thought the clouds a lesson... Didn't we?
Lightning notices the disconcerting quietness coming from his usually loudmouth brother, and after asking the final little question he turns to see the stern face of his brother, a face he has come to know means things were about to get nutty.
Bill: fraid we haven't old bruddy, feel that in the air, we got one more hurd-
And before Bill could even finish the sentence, a wave of plasma bursts from the sky faster than anything either of the two have ever seen.
It's radius was something to behold, some say That bolt from the sky was 700 mi across, others give a more conservative estimate of 200, one thing everyone agrees on is that it was big enough to wipe a town off the map.
And that thing was heading straight for Bill and Lightning at speeds the two of them had trouble raping their little young heads around.
And just as fast as the bolt was coming at the two, it dissipated, in a mighty flash that lit up the entire skies as if it were the Sun and a quake that rocked the heavens themselves.
That thunderous bolt coming down on the two's heads was gone, And the clouds that had sent it vaporized into nothingness, leaving an open and clear evening sky.
Lightning: Well that sure was something wasn't it Peco-
As Lightning looks back to address his brother, he notices a Bill shaped puff of dust where his brother once sat, looking forward to where the mightiest bolt was hurtling toward them He sees Pecos.
The Cloud still gripped tightly in his dominant hand as his offhand smolders, knuckles red hot like forged iron, this all while Pecos is slumped, his face masked by shadow, as the cloud slowly floats the boy back to ground.
In a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of even further fractions of a conceivable moment, Pecos had leped from Lightning's back and punched one of the mightiest bolts head-on, with his non-dominant hand, and not only destroyed it and the clouds that sent it, but also by causing such destruction made it very clear to the cloud that was caught that this boy is something else and was not to be trifled with.
Of course Lightning in a panic runs over before Pecos hits the ground and manages to catch him on his back, Lightning begins asking a flurry of questions about the hows and the whys and the whats of what just happened, and all he gets in response.
is snoring.
Pecos sitting there, dominant hand still gripped tightly on the cloud that no longer struggles, while his non-dominant hand smolders while radiating that orange redish glow, has fallen asleep, Bill's even got his sleeping smirk on, Lightning is baffled.
The whole situation defied any sense of reason, Lightning stood still for just a moment before letting out a gulp of sheer confusion and worry as he silently continued the two's mostly quiet journey back home, mostly quite on account of Bill's snoring of course.
(Author/scribes note: this chapter original was one in the same with the next chapter but I realized it felt like it went on for a bit too long all in one go.
At least in this written form so now I made it a bit of a two parter.
This was fun to write down and relive hearing the story, the excitement and just optimistic enthusiasm I feel hearing and now writing these stories is intoxicating.
And the side hug thing mentioned in the story is in reference to my propensity for it, which influenced my mom to figure out a way to incorporate that into Bill lore.
At least I'm pretty sure she's the one who originates that part of the myth since she's the only one I've heard mention it.
Also apologies for this taking so long, life's been pretty hectic recently but I've still been working hard on writing all these down, In fact I have a ton of notes on my phone at this point around random Pecos Bill stories I've remembered due to doing some mythological or folkloric research.
Thank you so much for reading the chapter and this little note and I hope you stick around for the next one as we get to see the aftermath of all this and the conclusion to the story)
